Army Wife

Well, I finally made it into the club. The married club that is. Or so people have told me. I got married on March 3rd 2012 and just a short month later, my husband leaves to go to OCS (Officer Candidate School) in Georgia. He isn't due back until August and it has been an interesting 5 weeks without him. My heart cries out for him and my eyes still do on occasion as well. I feel like I've been stuck in a nightmare kind of a dream. I've been waiting 27 years to get married and then it finally happens and then my husband gets taken away from me. I'm finally getting a taste of what Army life will be like. My husband was sent to Georgia before my brain had a chance to wrap itself around the fact that I am truly 100% married to the most wonderful man! I'm very blessed and I still have troubles believing that it happened. I feel like I made him up and kind of like I have an imaginary friend who I have married and everyone just plays along. I don't know what married life is like yet because my husband isn't here. I feel like I am half of a whole without him.

I am visiting family right now and this home used to be mine, but because my husband and I made our house OUR home, it feels weird being here with my parents. I feel homesick for my new home, the one my husband and I have. I just want to be where he last was with me. I feel closer to him there.

I have started a friendship up with another Army wife and her husband leaves in a week for 9 months. She is taking this, her second experience with him being deployed, a lot harder than then first. How I feel without my love is not uncommon from what I've talked with her about.

I'm tempted to write a book about Army wives. I think it would be fairly simple, but I think it would help other wives out a lot that deal with deployments or absence from their husband being sent away for training or what have you. I always have big aspirations of writing, but I never seem to follow through with it. This one I might force myself to try.

I hear people speak about how they have great respect for Army families because they would never be able to do what they do. I don't feel like I fall into that category because I just joined the "Army Wife Team". I feel like the "respect" others have for women like me has not been earned yet. I have no doubt I will earn it one day, but I feel it doesn't belong to me just yet.

Army Wife...Such a big title to have. It seems like it comes with big strength and responsibility. We may have that in us, but we are also scared of what might be, we cry behind closed doors and very quietly so no one will hear and ask us what is wrong. We eat our feelings or don't eat at all. We close ourselves in away from others, or we travel to take our mind off of things. What we do is not easy and it isn't for everybody. I didn't pick the Army, the Army picked me. I wasn't given a choice really. I love my Military man and I am still in awe that I married such a hero. If we could give up the military tomorrow, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Having my husband in my arms every night is better than any "perk" the military may offer us. I think it takes strength to admit one is scared and wants out. But if in the Army is where YHWH (God) wants us, then this is where we will stay. I just pray for his mercy and protection through it all. Amein! And again I say, Amein.

This last picture was taken the day before he left. 

Simple Woman's Daybook

I decided to join this fun blog called The Simple Woman's Daybook and it is just a place where you can jot down your daily thoughts. It seemed like a fun thing to do! If you too would like to join, here is the link to do so: http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/ 


FOR TODAY


Outside my window... The sun is trying to poke through the wonderfully gloomy clouds that surround.


I am thinking...Oh how much I miss my husband and want so badly to kiss and hug him right now.


I am thankful...That I can start the count down to when he returns and I can start making plans for keeping me busy while he is away for 3 months.


In the kitchen...There is a big mess right now because it is Sabbath for one, but also I've been unmotivated to clean things since my hubby left this morning.


I am wearing...My PJ's still. I decided staying in today was best.


I am creating...A plan for the next 3 months and the homecoming of my love. I look forward to that day so very much!


I am going...To Whistler, BC tomorrow with relatives for a few days to get away and take hold of my last opportunity to go with them since I don't know where my husband and I will be stationed next year.


I am wondering...If I will find the motivation to lose the weight I want to while he is gone so he comes back to a better looking wife.


I am reading...Scot on the Rocks. It is a murder mystery; my favorite kind of book.


I am hoping...I get everything packed tonight and all the food I need to bring for the couple days I'll be up in Canada.


I am looking forward to...Traveling these next few months while my husband is away. I plan on going to see my family on the other side of the state and his family in California. I also plan to go visit some friends in Oregon and maybe South Carolina. I am also looking forward to my trip to Disney Land to get myself laughing for a day. 


I am learning...To be a wife. I've been married 4 weeks today and it has had its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for single life again. Being married is so much fun and I look forward to growing more and more as a person and with my husband all the time. 


Around the house...There is the mess left from the packing my husband did last night. I hate messes, but I don't want to clean it because it reminds me of him. 


I am pondering...Showering or napping. Not sure which I'll do.


A favorite quote for today... Focus on these moments and remember that 3 months is quite a drop in the bucket compared to your life together that has just begun. You've got this. Stay busy and spray your pillow every night with his cologne.

One of my favorite things...Hearing my husband say he loves me followed by my name. It sounds more personal and makes my heart skip.


A few plans for the rest of the week: Whistler tomorrow and I then I come back on Tuesday. Tuesday I will be booking some flights for the next couple months. I will also start cleaning my house of the leaven that is in it since Passover will be starting on the 6th. I may go visit my Grandma since I haven't seen her in a month. 


A peek into my day...


This was taken yesterday, but it is the most recent picture of my husband and I. Some of our last moments together before he left.I had just got done crying here, but luckily it doesn't show.